Relationships

The perfect relationship is not some unattainable, half-baked, philosophical, pie-in-the-sky idea. It is a reality simple to attain if you know the rules. Note I said simple, not easy. The perfect relationship takes work to be sure but it is a labor of love. The perfect relationship is exciting and exhilarating. It is also trying and demanding. But it will never be boring. The problem with 99.9% of interpersonal relationships is that one or both parties do not understand how...

Reflexively, my head turned toward the sound of a breaking plate, and then more slowly back to the middle-aged woman sitting across from me. We were at a small marbled table in a trendy café. It was an island of equanimity cluttered with mid-morning deserters from a chaotic world that waited, like an expectant father, just beyond the glass doors. She was a friend, visiting Sarasota for a few weeks to soak up a compassionate winter sun. We had been...

I once met a woman who was a hairdresser from Colombia. She had been in the U.S. for several months and spoke almost no English. She smoked cigarettes and drank strong Colombian coffee from morning till night. She worked long hours, ate little and poorly and had a host of physical complaints related to her lifestyle. When I went to get my hair cut we would nod and smile and I would show off my snappy command of the Spanish...

You became aware of Self when thoughts shut off. When they started up again you were able to continue observing. Before thoughts, Self was observing Self. After thoughts, Self was still observing Self, only now Self had taken the form of thoughts. Thoughts were formed out of Stillness, the silent Self. Thoughts are things. Other things, trees, stars and cars, are also Self that have taken form. When you observe any form with complete awareness you will find its shimmering...

John M Koller, author and professor of oriental philosophies, bluntly illustrates how man cannot possibly exist separate from his God. He states, “If whatever is is dependent upon another, then any kind of “straight line” causality is ruled out. There are no independent beings that are responsible for the existence of dependent beings. For example, the theistic notion that one absolutely independent being—God—created the rest of what exists, and that created universe depends for its existence upon God, makes no...

At first glance there are three basic kinds of relationships that humans enjoy. These are human-to-human, human-to-nature and human-to-God relationships. In all three the element that remains the same is the human. It is the human who defines the relationship. Even the human-to-God relationship is defined by the mind of man. A fourth relationship exists and steps beyond the limitations of mind. The fourth relationship is the God-to-God relationship. As soon as you read “God-to-God” some of you may have...

“Why bother?” you say. Why can’t we just stay to ourselves? That’s a thought born of struggle and conflict produced when relationships are too much work or pain. While there are a few individuals who are truly at home by themselves, most of us are addicted to the touch, the sound, and the warmth of other human beings. Why is that? Why are we drawn so strongly into interactions with others that ultimately prove hurtful and frustrating? Think on this...

When we accept the image of ourselves that is generated by ego we separate ourselves from what we perceive as other images. The image “me” interacts with the image “you.” Everything is great as long as the image “you” supports the image “me.” Bohm taught us that even the image of “you” is created by “me.” I do not see you as you really are. I see you as my mind wants to see you. You are perceived by “me”...

Falling in love is a tornado of emotions that lifts us off this ordinary earth to land us lightly in heaven. Through our love we perceive a perfect partner. Everything they do is perfect. Those things and people that upset us before, like a boorish boss, cold coffee or a longwinded neighbor, all pale in the bright light of love. We walk in the clouds for days or even months. But sooner or later we fall back to earth. Why?...

What we are asking is, “Is it possible to have a problem-free relationship?” The answer is, “Of course, as soon as we remove the problem.” The “problem” as you may already know is the mind’s perception of the relationship. Your mind creates an image of what you are from memory. Relying on memory for our sense of “me” we divide the world into friend and foe, into things that can help “me” and things that are a threat to maintaining...