How Does Perception Affect Your Relationship? (Part I/8)

If it is true that one man’s perfect is another man’s pain then perfection is a product of perception. And perception is affected by our level of common consciousness, our ability to observe clearly the perfection of this moment. That means that there are an infinite number of perceptions of perfection, as many as there are perceivers. So, what to do?

Do you remember the two simple rules that I use to guide my life? (Read QE Blog: The Rule of Two) Whenever I feel things are “going wrong” I revisit these two simple axioms for greater awareness. They are 1) life is ultimately harmonious and 2) things are not as I see them. Taking the negative stance we could say that if things are not making sense (rule 1) then it is my perception (rule 2) that needs adjusting. The first thing this does is put all apparent problems where they belong, squarely on my shoulders. I stop blaming other circumstances or people for my pain. I can’t even blame myself for my suffering. Basically, all problems are then reduced to a distorted perception of what is. The second thing that this understanding affords us is a definition of perfection that embraces all individual definitions.

When the conditional love relationship hits on hard times the most common perspective is that the other person is not performing up to our expectations. When money is the issue then our partner either doesn’t make enough money or spends too much, or both. If we are feeling emotionally deprived then we feel our partner is the cause. They are too distant, demanding or needy. A second common perspective on the failure of a relationship is that we are the cause of disharmony. We might blame ourselves for being emotionally, mentally, physically, socially or even financially at fault. But it really doesn’t matter who’s at fault, or why. We can brush all that aside. That’s right. Go ahead, just let all that nonsense slip away. Finding fault and trying to fix it only creates more fault. The “fix.” if you haven’t already figured it out, is to realize that there is nothing to fix.

[Continued next week – How Does Perception Affect Your Relationship? (Part II)]