What we are asking is, “Is it possible to have a problem-free relationship?” The answer is, “Of course, as soon as we remove the problem.” The “problem” as you may already know is the mind’s perception of the relationship. Your mind creates an image of what you are from memory. Relying on memory for our sense of “me” we divide the world into friend and foe, into things that can help “me” and things that are a threat to maintaining the image of “me.”
Our “I” perception is of oneness, wholeness, and unity. (Another name for “I” is Eufeeling.) Our “me” perception evolves out of our sense of separation from “I”. “Me” is ego swept away by the things and thoughts of this world. “I” transcends them.
When we “fall in love” it is “me” that does the falling. “I” is always in Love. In the moment, “I” has no need to analyze or to protect Itself. But “me” is always jostling for the upper hand. So when “me” meets she or he, “me” starts ticking off the pros and cons of a possible alliance. Can this person give me what I need? Will he or she hurt me? What “me” sees is filtered through outdated memory. (All memory is by definition outdated.) I lives in the present. After the tally of the person in question is complete, which may take only seconds, “me” proclaims yea or nay. Or it may decide to stay judgment until more data can be accumulated.
Does this seem a little stilted and devoid of humanness? We may feel that meeting someone new is effortless and we either like them or we don’t. “We don’t keep a score card,” you say, “of good points and bad.” Of course that is the way it looks at normal speed. But if we had a mental remote with a slow forward button we could examine our inner mental workings more closely. Impressions and sensations take place at the speed of light. If we are not paying attention they will run away with us. This is exactly what happens when we fall in love.
[Continued next week – How Does Perception Affect Your Relationship? (Part III)]
