Up until now I have laid out the basic precepts of the Kinslow System under the creativity, health, personal, relationships, science, society, and spiritual headings. A firm philosophical/functional foundation has been laid and now it is time for us to change direction, or more accurately, expand in any and all directions. I would like to create a more conversant forum. That is I would like to hear what you are interested in and then discuss those interests in the light of the Kinslow System. That means, we can chat over any topic that tickles your fancy. The obvious value is that we can explore and discover new ways of thinking and perceiving that will have immediate impact on our lives. This impact will manifest in many different ways on many different levels but always to enrich, nurture, and improve the quality of our lives.
That means, however, that the “dialogue” ball will occasionally end up in your court. When it does, I would like to hear from you, your thoughts, feelings, and insights tossing the ball back in my court. This is going to be fun and exciting but more than that it has the potential to enrich our lives far beyond what we have accepted as normal, or even exceptional.
So here’s how it works… I will make comment on some issue and you will respond with your observations. Then I will respond and you will respond, etc. etc. etc. Nothing new there, right? Of course the real value comes in the quality of our interaction. Let’s make it worth your while. What do you say, shall we get started?
Here is an excerpt from my new book When Nothing Works Try Doing Nothing due for release in early October. It is a topic very near to my heart. Let me know how you feel about it. Here goes…
[Note: this post will be rather lengthy but it will lay the groundwork for future blogs. Keep it handy you can refer to it often. I will add additional excerpts to support our ongoing dialogue.]
The Negative Side of Positive Thinking
“All this trying to make everything right is a big part of what’s wrong.” ~Oliver Berkeman
What is it that has the pseudoscientific community’s panties in a twist? Why, that would be the negative effects of positive thinking. When they talk about positive thinking, and I emphatically include under this umbrella “law of attraction” advocates, many take on an evangelistic fervor as if they are offering you the keys to the universe. They make you feel as though all you have to do is switch on positive thinking and the angels on high will spread rose petals on your path to material wealth and prosperity. Likewise, they tell you that the law of attraction means “like increases like” and positive thoughts can attract to them positive outcomes. They will tell you that this reasoning is based on solid principles of physics. Basically, they say, the law of attraction is telling us that our thoughts can control the material world. This may come as a surprise to many of you, but there is no “law of attraction” in physics or any other science. The whole positive thinking movement is scientifically baseless.
The most recent reincarnation of the idea that thoughts can control the material world comes out of the well-known, but frequently misinterpreted double-slit experiment in quantum mechanics. This classic experiment demonstrates that the outcome of the experiment is determined by what the observer measures. Briefly, if the scientist observed a photon in one way he found it to be a particle, and in another it presented as a wave. Now, I don’t want to get too technical here, and it’s not at all necessary in order to reach my objective. You can Google “double-slit experiment” and pick up the basics, but here’s my point. You could say that the scientist controlled whether he observed a particle or a wave, but you can’t say that he “created” the particle or the wave. The scientist seemingly influenced the outcome of the experiment by his observation of it, but in the end he was only observing what was already created. His observation determined whether he measured the photon as a particle or a wave, but he could not turn that particle or wave into a double-bacon cheeseburger. You see what I mean?
To further build on this misconception, the law-of-attraction aficionado proudly announces that if a scientist can control matter with his mind on the subatomic micro level, then we can control matter on the macro level of cars and Mars and jelly jars. This is a rather huge inductive leap with no foundation in experimental investigation. The scientist of the double-slit experiment was able to observe a single subatomic particle. Materializing your dream home is infinitely more complicated then observing a single photon. Your dream home is constructed of an unimaginable number of subatomic particles which form atoms which form molecules which then form the bricks, pipes, drywall, electrical wires, aluminum siding, etc., of your dream home. Are you truly capable of observing all of these particles in just the right way so that they materialize as your dream home? If so, would you think up a brand-new Ferrari for me? I’m just covering all my bases …
“No,” says the law-of-attraction believer, “it is the organizing power of the universe that does the work.” That there is order in the universe is obvious. That we can bend that power to our individual will has yet to be shown. There may be a greater lesson to be learned, one of observation versus control. I rather like the position of the scientist in the double-slit experiment. He is an awed observer of that universal organizing power. Isn’t that enough? From what emptiness springs our need to control every minute aspect of our world when the greatest joys afforded us have always been those spontaneous revelations of love and laughter accompanied with the realization that my world, our world, is beautiful just as it is?
Obviously our ability to imagine, plan, and control is inherent and necessary to our survival. It is the earmark of a healthy human, and has assured not only our existence but ascension to the apex of the animal kingdom. But there is a second kind of control, aberrant and born of dissatisfaction, disassociation, and fear. It is normal to want to free oneself from suffering. And if that suffering continues over a long enough time, it is common for that distressed mind to seek unrealistic and even detrimental relief. The control of the contented soul is giving, playful, and life-supporting. It lacks the frenetic sense of urgency, self-absorption, and hope that pervades a soul in suffering. The good news is that the suffering soul does not need to go outside of itself to relieve its torment. In fact, it cannot find permanent relief anywhere else but within. The misdirected mind, once on track, leaves behind that impulse and finds comfort in the present, no matter how chaotic or harsh it may appear.
If the positive-thinking movement is scientifically baseless, then why is it so popular? Does positive thinking work under more esoteric “cosmic” or spiritual laws beyond the reach of modern scientific reasoning? Well that certainly is the insinuation, but there is no proof of that either. So how does positive thinking work? The short answer is, it doesn’t! At least it doesn’t work the way it has been popularly presented.
There is more to be gained by exposing the inadequacies of positive thinking than you might realize, and it takes only a little scratching below the surface to appreciate the real and practical benefits for ourselves. Shall we do that? Shall we throw out the useless and replace it with something practical that will actually work? Then let’s get to it.
We will first look at the negative effects of positive thinking and then move on to create an actual positive perception that will … well, let’s just wait until we clear the complexities of positive thinking before we lay in our foundation for further fulfillment.
We have all heard of the wonderful results of positive thinking and the law of attraction. You know, think in just the right way to create the perfect partner or win the lottery. We hear about it a lot, but how often do you think it actually happens? Well as it turns out not very often at all, certainly not enough to be statistically significant. Let’s look at it from the other side. How many times has the law of attraction been conjured up with no results? As it turns out, failure of the law of attraction way outweighs its successes. Isn’t that your own experience? In actuality the law of attraction is no more effective at manipulating our world then is mere chance or happenstance. If it did work, everyone would be doing it and we would all be living utopian lives.
Why then do we hear so much about the successes of positive thinking? It’s the yellow Volkswagen phenomenon. Picture yourself driving down the road when out of the blue your passenger says, “Did you know that the day after you see a yellow Volkswagen you will receive unexpected money?” All of a sudden you see yellow Volkswagens everywhere, on the road, in parking lots, even in your dreams. Now, was it your lust for unexpected money that materialized yellow Volkswagens out of thin air? Some would say that seeing those yellow Volkswagens proved the law of attraction was hard at work in your favor. Or could it be that you were alerted to yellow Volkswagens and just became aware of what already existed? Remember Occam’s razor, which holds that the hypothesis with the fewest assumptions is the one that is most likely to be true. Did your law of attraction positive thought wave-patterns reverberate throughout the universe inspiring yellow Volkswagen vibrations to manifest full blown and fully loaded in the left turn lane at the next stoplight? Or did your heightened Volkswagen awareness simply make you notice what had been there all along? Do you see how easily this can get out of hand? But there’s more.
Reproducibility, that’s what a scientific technique is all about. By following the same instructions you must be able to duplicate what others have produced. Despite all manner of anecdotal evidence to the contrary, positive thinking, including intention work, is not reproducible. Let’s pick the most obvious example.
In 2007 a book was published that guaranteed its readers that the information within would provide “an incredible revelation that will be life-transforming for all who experience it”. I do not like to unnecessarily point fingers so I will not name the book. That will be my “secret”. This book, based on the law of attraction, became phenomenally successful – apparently a perfect example of the author’s teachings. The author then wrote a follow-up book which, despite the notoriety of the first, was far and away less successful. Now my question is this: “Did the author have an intention for her second book to be less successful?” Do you see what I’m getting at here? Did the author, a master of the law of attraction, invoke that law to create a significantly less successful book or, despite her mastery of the law of attraction, was she unable to make it work? I’ll let you be the judge.
Information: The Kinslow System™
Technique: Stop Thought Experience
Shankari Rise says:
Several years ago my friend, Lauloa, offered me a “lomi-lomi” massage that was a 2 hour process. She said that it was not just a regular massage, but a ceremony in which I was supposed to set an intention or ask for something that I wanted to happen.
I have never been good at asking for things or setting intentions, so I hesitated and Lauloa, knowing that I was in need of a new place to live, suggested that my intention could be to find the “perfect living situation” for myself. She seemed almost adamant that I make this my intention so I agreed and pretty much forgot about it. The massage was great and I went home.
About a week later, a man showed up at our door to buy the washer and dryer that my ex-roommate and I were selling. He and I started talking and I found myself telling him about needing a new place to live. He pulled out his cell phone, and asked my permission to make a call. A few minutes later I was speaking with my future landlady at a beautiful property on 4 acres with chickens, goats, and emus, vegetable gardens, artistic stonework and several individual spaces to live in. A few days later I moved in and have been living here for the past 6 years in my own little cottage that I love.
The property is now home to 12 adults and 2 teenagers and is temporary home to 2 work-exchange friends from Istanbul, one from New York, one from Japan, and 2 from Australia. I now have home, family, a precious doggie, and wonderful new international friends coming and going and helping out with gardening, maintenance, building, and cleaning.
It was almost 2 years before I remembered that I had half-heartedly set an intention to find the “perfect place for me to live” and here I was in the perfect situation. Since that time I have noticed that I sometimes get little things that I want, by only thinking casually that I would like something.
I seem to remember someone writing that one should ask for things “without being attached to the results”.
I think I’ll start paying closer attention to my desires and ask casually for a few more things, like a swimming pool, a child or 2 to join our community, an outdoor bathtub, and perfect health. We’ll see how it all goes…
vern says:
The Kinslow system and especialy the stop thought practice was very useful in repelling the seduction of LOA’s and such and getting me back to immediate now/nothing/stop which I frequently use a breath to re-realize.
I hope this ‘new direction’ infects many more of us with the experience of being
all/nothing…..vern
Cheryl says:
While I think the Law of Attraction as presented by various authors may be oversimplified, and positive thinking is not always perfect, both the Law of Attraction and positive thinking have a place in a healthy thought system. The book you referenced led to a great life transformation for me. Following my reading of the book, I have a much more positive outlook that has led to a new job, more positive relationships, and a pursuit of new interests. While there may be no “scientific basis,” science is always expanding and changing and someday we may learn that while we are not in total control of the universe, or even our lives, our thoughts may control more than we realize. I certainly would not say that positive thinking fails more than it succeeds, because such a statement is negative, leading to almost certain failure. Yes, the idea of positive thinking can get out of control. But changing my thought process to a more positive one makes me a happier person. I certainly am not going to go back to my former negativity and throw away my happiness.
Ronda R Chapman says:
I love things like this that get the mind to thinking. I did not read that book because I didn’t think it was going to teach me anything. I tend to believe in frequency and vibrations for for attraction or for events to take place, etc. I think mass conscious is what make some things happen. I can only say that one morning I woke up and I knew everything. I knew there were no mistakes, no coincidences, no right or wrong, there just is. I knew that I was totally responsible for creating my own reality through the choices I have made. Ithere are no blames. I found this pure freedom. So, I feel I am a positive person. Pretty much all the time. I smile a lot. People like to be around me. Negative people don’t even enter my realm. I feel this is all to vibration. Now is this true? Well, it’s true for me, until it isn’t. As I have learned things that I perceive true for me, it will impact my life in some way. I am not afraid of change. But, I’ll admit to thinking there is no one truth. A person’s truth is their own gotten by their own evolvement in their own evolution. To get back to the positive thing. I feel to be able to live in positiveness helps your physical health and generally makes a life easier to live.
Astrid says:
Well I found, that the law of attraction does not work for me. But I still believe that there is a way how it works. For example: What would happen if most of the people think “PEACE ON EARTH”? Will that create peace or will “the law of attraction” fail this one too?
Maria says:
The Law of Attraction can only work when we feel it and believe it. It’s not at all about repeating a mantra (affirmation) as we’ve repeated prayers for centuries and that didn’t change the world. But, do I live my life in a state of peace? Do I have peace of mind, i.e. a still mind full of good wishes and pure feelings? Then the affirmations will work as they will be a reminder of what I have to be rather than a magic wand for something to happen.
Frank Kinslow says:
The thing is, there is no law of attraction, at least as far as science is concerned. It turns out that it is an intriguing idea with no basis in our everyday reality. If the law of attraction does not exist then I don’t see how it could work for you. See what I mean?
regina says:
Thanks for this. To be continued??
Marmelade says:
Thanks for this insightful article. However. I definitely do not believe in the law of attraction as presented in the secret book you are mentioning. That book forgets to mention that we are co-creators and not creators of our reality. We are not 100% in control of our universe, that’s for sure. But we can certainly influence our world with the way we think and with our intentions. Not exactly the way we want though. I’ll give you an example. A few years ago I had to leave my apartment, where the rent was very cheap, and find another one. To find a cheaper one or one that would cost me the same, would have been very difficult and I could not afford a more expensive one. But I wasn’t worried, I asked the “universe” (or God or Life or call it whatever you want) to find me an apartment, trusted the universe and didn’t do anything else, apart from quietly searching. However I carefully avoided picturing the apartment in my mind or choosing the quarter in town where it should or even trying to determine the exact way I would get it. I left all that to the “universe”, knowing that God’s will would be done. A few weeks later I got the perfect apartment in the perfect area at the perfect, i.e. very low, price and in an totally unexpected way. However I am totally aware that asking the universe for something doesn’t guarantee I will get it.
I know I will either get it – but the how and when I cannot influence – or I wil not get it. If I don’t get it, I know it’s for my highest good; for instance something better might be coming along that I haven’t even thought of. Or nothing might be coming along and it’s also fine. I am at peace anyway (and QE helps me a lot with that :-)) Bottom-line is I don’t believe positive thinking is 100% wrong, we shoudl just be careful with the way we use it. Believing that it can help us control our environment is wrong. We are not in control. We shouldn’t forget there is a higher will at work, but we also shouldn’t forget we have tools to work together with that will to create a better life for ourselves. Also, I find very dangerous the way the secret book points to the fact that abundance will make us happy. That’s an illusion. Happiness, or rather peace of mind, doesn’t depend on external circumnstances, at least in my own experience.
Frank Kinslow says:
Marmelade… I love your comment, thank you. The bottom line is, whether the law attraction works or not, whether it gets you what you want or not, it cannot get you what you need. Your observation that whether you get what you want or not you are still at peace is a beautiful perception and a sign of spiritual maturity. Freedom from dependence on outside things is ultimately the greatest freedom. After all why would we desire a new home or more money? They are impotent symbols of freedom unable to provide us with that simplest of spiritual realizations, inner peace. Well done!
Eduardo Homem says:
I agree with you, Frank. When I forced myself to think positevely, I trigger the oposite. A war begins. I had many si called manifestations, some unbelievable, and each of them was a surprise. Totally unexpected. It seems God has already given what we need and what we should do is receiving it. But I have a question: the Growing Finger experience can be seen as a visualizing experience? If so, what Neville teaches is true? I guess your answer will be: not a visualizing experience, but an awareness demonstration.
Frank Kinslow says:
The perfect pragmatist! I congratulate you for having your feet so firmly planted on the ground. How many people have had inconsistent or no results and felt that it was in some way their fault? There is mounting research that for some people positive thinking techniques, including those who practice the law of attraction, can be psychologically damaging. I am not saying that a positive attitude is bad, not by a long shot! When I take issue with is those personalities who encourage us to use positive thinking procedures that do not work. They cannot consistently apply those techniques in their own lives. Yet many of us go on believing and hoping that they are right and that we will soon be lifted beyond our suffering by using such techniques. In essence, those people are encouraged to rely on something outside of themselves, a fanciful and unpredictable technique, to grant them inner peace. I’m sorry, but it just can’t be done!
Jake says:
I like the New Direction!.I came to QE from looking for more “effective” methods to do LOA!.I did have some success using some of the principles from Seth and Abraham-Hicks but not consistant and definately not reproducible.I never did read the book you mentioned.One thing I could not get was why so many people felt they had to justify it with Quantum physics.To me it just sounded silly.All that I was interested in was whether it “worked” or not.I am comfortable with things being unexplainable and mysterious.I rather like it that way.I look forward to your new book.
Karin Mattison says:
Hi Frank, the yellow Volkswagen cracks me up. I am Hypnosis Coach and as such used to give people similar suggestions at hand. Annother example is : do not think of a pink Elephant. what do you think of immediately? Pink Elephant.; Law of attraction is nice but Long overruled by new developments.Appreciate this blog. Keep on track, Frank,. best wishes Karin